is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
