Non-Jews are for practice
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
