THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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