dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
