I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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