how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
