well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
His nipple licking is glorious
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