I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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