I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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