How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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