So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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