It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize