I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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