i think i have herpe
just one?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
