Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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