I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
