So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
