do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
