I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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