The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just fell off a train. Bad.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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