i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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