have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
