Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
