I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm bleeding and have questions
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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