Sry I called you an 8
if you like me you must not know who I am
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
