i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
