Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize