physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
