there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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