Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
