I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
