when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
