Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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