How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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