why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
