Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize