so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
