I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
