please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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