so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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