If that was your dad, he is hot
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
