kristin has been a bad kristin
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
