she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
