is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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