So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
