your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Having a random hookup so left but love u
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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