the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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