Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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