My pussy is not your playground.
bring money and cleavage
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
