I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
