Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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