Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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