If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
