i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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