u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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