Are we in a gay sports bar?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
