in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
