I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
